The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Movie Review: Hitch

I went into this movie on the dime of the SF Observer expecting it to be mediocre at best. Once my mind is made up as to whether I'll like a movie or not it's usually set. However, Hitch managed to change my mind. Most of the reviews I read gave Will Smith's latest effort somewhere in the area of 2 or 3 stars complaining that it falls flat; I adamantly disagree. Smith proves that he can play a (relatively) understated character - a normal guy. Kevin James also gives a strong performance as Albert, the bumbling underachiever who falls in love with out-of-his-league Heiress Alegra Cole (Amber Valletta) . The cast is rounded out nicely by Hitch's beautiful love interest, gossip columnist Sara (Eva Mendez). A great date-flick, this movie delivers romantic moments mixed with Will Smith's innate charm and sense of comedic timing. I definitely recommend it.

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