The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Odd News: Head Hook

Man Recovering From Being Impaled By Giant Hook
Industrial Accident Leaves Victim Blind

SAN ANTONIO
The images were so dramatic, even experienced emergency room doctors were shocked at the sight. The computerized tomography scan images revealed a steel hook impaled in a man's left temple and through his right eye. The hook came within millimeters of striking Gail Creek in the brain while he was taking a bucket off a backhoe in December. The bucket turned over, hitting Creek in the face, followed by the hook. Two months after the accident, Creek knows it's a miracle he's alive.

Although the hook severed both his optic nerves, leaving him blind, Creek has not lost hope that his remaining senses will help him relearn simple tasks, like how to walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"They've done a real good job at getting me ready," Creek said of the University Hospital physical therapists who are teaching him new tasks.

Creek admits physical therapy is tough, but having his wife, Barbara, makes all the difference for him. "I couldn't do without her," Creek said.

http://www.nbc4i.com/news/4184891/detail.html

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