Welcome Home Martha!

After 5 long months of hard labor in a minimum security prison, Martha Stewart was released from her West Virginia cell early this morning. Although Stewart is out of prison, her confinement is far from over. The Domestic Diva will spend another 5 long months sequestered to her New York Estate. I, for one, would like to send a congratulations to Ms. Stewart for completion of her time in jail and wish her the best in her coming house arrest.

Recent stories have surface about Martha Stewart's cell block antics and the hard labor she was forced to endure. According to Marjorie "larger Marge" Jenkins, Stewart "was the best cell mate ever." Jenkins went on to say "[Stewart] was so accommodating. She made my bed every morning, knitted me a new blanket, and even tossed my salad every night; after reading me a bed time story of course."

Along with brandied peach tartlets, crocheted foot cozies, and decorative doiles Stewart spent most of her time hard at work delegating kitchen authority and watching reruns of Leave it to Beaver.

One might think "What's next for the Kmart Queen? How will she recover from her hard time?" Well, fear not. Stewart has teamed up with Survivor and Apprentice creator Mark Burnette for not one, but two upcoming shows. The first will be a Real World like journey into the hell that is house arrest in a multi million dollar estate complete with big screen TV's, all the venison you can cook, and a plethora of Mexican and Philippino house boys.

The second show is going to be The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. Since we all know she can't use "you're fired" as her catch phase, we'll have to wait and see as to what her technique might be. I imagine it will be something casual and light hearted in attempts to reconcile her image; something like "You fail to be assimilated" or an elegant "fuck off."

So Martha Stewart fans, don't fret. Your icon isn't going anywhere. In fact, she will probably be more famous now than she ever was before; especially if her stock is any indicator (for those of you who don't know, Martha Stewart Living stock has more than tripled in the last 5 months).