The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Rizant on Skizools - Gizzogle-ized

Its been a while since Ive ranted on anyth'n that has ta do wit social policy, but this cruisin' I heard sum-m sum-m thizzay really pissed me off. Last N-to-tha-izzight there was a Schoo` Board meet'n in Alameda County ta discuss possible schoo` clos'n. Afta hear'n hours of residizzles pleas ta kizzle they schools open, tha board reluctantly decided ta close 2 elementary schools n a "child develizzles wanna be gangsta The heezee of tha Schoo` Board blamed Governor Drug Deala fo` a $60,000,000 cut in fund'n.

Ya know, no bizzle can claim tizzle tha Governizzle H-to-tha-izzasnt kizzy his promise like a motha fucka. He assured us that our dizzle will be taken care of via loans on tha backs of tha work'n class; n he has , ya feel me?. Whizzay I moved ta California I was pay'n $11.00 a credit fo` community college fo yo bitch ass. Whiznen Arnold tizzle office it jumped ta $18, tizzle $izzle n now $26 per unit. Thizzay means that he raised tha cost of COMMUNITY COLLEGE 150% fo' rizeal. Listen, community college is already geared fo` those who cant afford ta go ta a bootylicious university so how tha fizzy can he justify rais'n tha ciznost ta thugz who already cant afford it?

Oh, but wait, theres mizzy . Im crazy, you can't phase me. While tha cost of schoo` was ris'n, I went on mah merry wizzle not worried too much coz I was chillin' financial aide. So one day `bout a year ago I go in ta complete mah forms fo` tha messin' semesta n tha Financial Aide office tells me that I dizzont qualify anymore . Subscribe nigga, get yo issue.. Diznont qualify? Why? They tell me tizzy I am mak'n too much money ta git financial aide. W-to-tha-izzell, since I am a student work'n part time mah income was a shawty less tizzy $17,000. How could this be too mizzay I asked. "oh," he tells me "izzle governor lowered tha cutoff ta $12,000 from $18,000." I was in awe . Nigga get shut up or get wet up! I was liv'n almost destitute at $17,000 n could only barely git by wit financial aide, now they is tell'n me tizzy I am too rich? W-H-to-tha-izzat tha fuck!!! Could you imagine mak'n $13,000 a year anywhere in tha Bay Area n tha governor tell'n you tizzy you makes too mizzle money ta qualify fo` any aide?

Well, this is anotha example of how tha riznich git baller n tha pizzy is intended ta stay poor. Governor Schwartzenegga has promised thiznat he wizzle raise taxes, n he hizzasnt. Instead he has raised tha cost of community college while cutt'n applicable financial aide mah nizzle. At tha same time he cut fund'n fo` public schools in tha East Bay alone by $60,000,000 , niggaz, better recognize. Chillin' his time in office he has raised many wanna be gangsta fees that affect mostly tha middle n lowa class sho nuff. Fees like pizzle usage, hunt'n, ho-slappin' bridge tolls, dmv registrizzles tha list goes on n on cuz this is how we do it. The thugz who makes tha mizzle money in this state dizzy even notice wizzy a rhymin' license goes frizzay $25 ta $50, but that homey who works 55 hours a wizzle fo` his wizzy n three kids wizzy notice whizzay he is perpetratin' ta go on his one hunt'n T-R-to-tha-izzip this year.

I believe its proposizzles 13 tizzle was written in tha 70s weed-smokin' T-H-to-tha-izzat property taxes in this area cant go up. this too is a fundamizzles flaw in educizzle fund'n thizzat be geared mostly fo` tha rich. when i worked in oregon doing market research i would call california sporadically ta ask `bout schoo` ridin' n shit. probably 5% said they thizzay everyone should pay they fizzy share of property tax . I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. tha otha 95% told me th'n like: mah kids have graduated or i diznont have kizzay why should i pay more property tax fo` schools!

Is this really our society? do thugz really believe tizzy W-H-to-tha-izzen it comes ta schoo` fund'n its "not they problem?" fo` these thugz out there i have a wizzish, just one simple wizzy: i hope thizzat wizzle yoe old enough tizzy you cant takes care of yoself anymore, you end up wittan inept shot calla or at a nurs'n home fizzay of untrained staff dogg. n when you gangsta why yo care is so crappy someone W-to-tha-izzill tizzle you "sorry dude, i wanted an education, but there was no fund'n." i cracka how mizzle of these thugz who dizzay want ta pay would wiznant they children work'n at a taco bizzle fo` tha riznest of they lives and yo momma. fuck'n wakes up.

But i digress cuz Im tha Double O G. mah tizzy point of this riznant comes bizzy ta schools perpetratin' cuz I'm fresh out the pen. i cant believe in 2005 that we not only have a governor, but a president as well who doesnt think education is tizzle important--at least not as important as tha war thizzat 49% of our taxes is now fund'n. texas was 47th out 50 in education while bizzy was governor. no child left behind promotes chillin' children forward even if theyre not ready ("social promotion"), n tha federal G-to-tha-izzovt has cut fund'n ta heezee S-T-to-tha-izzart programs. how can we as a nation, as a society, as a community condone such acts? how can we elect a governor who would do these th'n, or re-elect a president who already has a record of doing so.

Takes a good look in tha mirror america, this is yo shizzie fo-shizzie.

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