The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Odd News: Dog Busts Owner

Labrador Retriever Busts Owner on Pot Charge

GRAPEVINE, Texas (AP) -
WOAI-TV

The owner of J.D. the Labrador may be wishing his dog weren't such a good retriever. Matthew Porter of Richland Hills and two friends were playing Frisbee golf in a suburban park Monday when a police officer who thought he smelled burning marijuana began questioning them.

As the officer was checking for outstanding warrants, J.D. waded into a nearby creek and emerged with a plastic bag containing the drug.

Porter, 25, was charged with possessing drug paraphernalia. Micah Hays, 24, was charged with marijuana possession. J.D. was turned over to the third person at the park, who faces no charges.

J.D. also faces no charges, but may have a new job opportunity.

"People have been asking if we're going to recruit the dog for police work," said Grapevine police Sgt. Todd Dearing.
©2005 Associated Press. All rights reserved.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6981950/

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