The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Thursday, April 07, 2005

A Sad Day in Music.

This morning I found out that Fitty-Cent--Eminem's famed protege--has four, count them: one-two-three-four songs in the top ten. The only other artist to ever do this are The Beatles. SO this means when we look up great accomplishments in music we'll see the Beatles (who revolutionized popular music, the spirit of a generation, and overall music production) and 50-cent who sings about hoes and bitches... I fucking hate the music industry.

This brings me to another point. We all remember the debacle last year involving Poptart little sister Ashlee Simpson. This was a girl who not once but twice was caught lip-sync-ing on national television (SNL & Good Morning America) followed by being boo-ed off the stage by 40,000 people at the Rose Bowl for singing overwhelmingly bad. This girl proved that a record company can make anyone famous that they want. After all of this, Simpson when on to win MTV's New Artist of the Year award! This is what this says to me:

OK, so we put all of this money in Ashlee Simpson. We gave her her own TV show, We pumped millions into her new record, we put her face everywhere, we can't admit failure of an "artist" that we created. So we'll pretend that she is a lot better than people think! We'll put her on a huge tour right after we give her a huge award for being better than she appears. That'll fool all those naive 12 year old Ashlee Simpson fans!

Don't people realize how conglomerates like Clear Channel and Infinity Broadcasting are homogonizing the music industry? We have an industry that wont play revolutionary tracks by amazing artists like Beck & Ween, but will play Ashlee, Jessica, Brittney, and Mandy all fucking day long. I am so sick of turning on the radio and only hearing two things:

1> Stupid fucking pop-tart love songs with the same fucking beat and the same fucking words put together in a different order.

2> Songs about bitches and ho's.

I implore America: Fucking Wake up!!! Don't fall for what these conglomerates are trying to do to you. These mainstream radio stations and record companies are doing nothing but making music and the music industry bland, boring, and predictable. But hey, if you like hearing the same fucking thing over-and-over for the next century... just keep on listening.


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A side note.

It recently came to my attention that certain record companies are using modern technology to analyze the composition of a song. Here is how it works: The companies take a song that was a number one hit for a few weeks. They add it to a database of past number one hits. Then, a computer program analyzes the similarities between these songs (ie: beats per minute, key, tempo, chord progression, pitch, etc). In the end, a company is trying to recreate the success of previous hits. Doesn't this defeat the creative integrity of music. One more time: I fucking hate this industry. This is why I am going into it, I believe (at least on a small scale) I can change this idea.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting... you scared me with the title though. I thought someone else had died.

Liz

3:28 PM  

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