The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Why Drugs Should be Legal... Prostitution Too.

Before I get into my rant on why drugs should be legal I feel that I need to post this disclaimer:

*Although I have the belief that most (if not all) drugs should be legal, I in no way condone the use of hard narcotics for recreational purposes. I in no way encourage experimentation nor look down upon those who do. These views are solely my own and don't necessarily reflect those of this publication, its management, or editorial board.

I was listening to NPR this morning (as I always do) while Michael Krasne's Talk of the Nation was discussing a brand of certain pharmaceuticals used in the making of meth amphetamines. The interview began with a brief interview with a security guard at a Wal-Mart in Kansas. This guard took a reporter to the cold medicine isle where he pointed to an empty display of a product that is very similar to Sudafed. The active ingredient is such cold medicine is a stimulant called Ephedrine; a key element in the making of street meth. In the discussion the guard said that the store was in the process of putting "all of these medicines behind the counter."

This is a debate that I have heard many times: put the stuff behind the counter to stop the theft of it (as well as the legitimate purchases that are still going to make meth) but, by doing so you're making the "regular" customers experience just a little tougher. What-to-do what-to-do?

So many "authorities" are taking the wrong approach to the drug problem in this country. The first thing that they need to realize is that you will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER get people to stop doing drugs; never! People have been taking mind altering substances since the beginning of time. Furthermore, since we're on the subject of what man has been doing since the beginning of time, what is the worlds oldest profession? Prostitution! But I'll get into that later.

Back to the drugs.

Where was I? Oh yeah, people will always do drugs. I mean, go to Iran where you can get shot on the street for possession of hashish. Guess what, if you look hard enough, you'll find hashish. The key to "saving" society lies with legalization for four very important reasons.

Reason 1: Human Nature
See the blue paragraph above.

Reason 2: Black Market
Since (some) people will always look for drugs no matter the consequence there will always be people willing to see it to them. Honestly, a lot of people have their regular dealers that they go to every week that is "safe" and familiar. However, some people just need to go out and get a fix. This means that they are out on the street, late at night, looking to score. Let's say they find someone selling what their looking for and head into the shadows to make the deal. Now you have two people hiding in a dark place for a drug deal. These are two lives at risk from each other. If this guy could go to Walgreens or CVS to pick up his weekly dose (assuming that legalization would not be similar to alcohol or tobacco) you just possibly saved two lives; that of the dealer and that of the addict.

Lets say, you think the dealer is more of a piece of shit and don't care for his life to be saved. Well, guess what; by selling the drugs in a pharmacy you've just put him out of business.

Reason 3: Crime
Most crime related to drugs derives from the black market and is only committed by those who are in desperate need of the really addictive drugs (i.e. meth, heroin, and crack). Along with legalization comes regulation. It is imperative that assistance be given to those who need it in the form of methadone or similar treatments that aid people in the acquisition and treatment of their chose addiction. Now, I'm not saying that giving free meth or crack to an addict off the street is a good idea, unless it's accompanied by treatment. Here's how: If you offer an addict a prescription for say heroin as long as they attend some sort of medical treatment plan, they will take it; trust me. If an addict knows that they can acquire their drug of choice legally, regularly, and conveniently, they will.

Reason 4: Quality
Many studies have been done showing that regulated heroine does not make your lifespan any shorter. However people overdose and kill themselves on heroin all the time. Why? Because there is no consistency. Every dose of street heroin is different from the last--some more potent, some less. This forces the user to make his own decision as to the dose he needs or wants. By regulation of the industry people will know what the proper dose is and will drastically reduce the amount of deaths from overdose.

Most people fear the idea of narcotic legalization because they believe it will give a green light to those who want to do drugs but don't. The truth is sure, there will be an initial spike in usage, but that will die off and level out within a year. The people who are going to do drugs are already prone to do it. You're not gonna have a Mormon youth group in Salt Lake City say "hey, it's legal now, let's go get fucked up." This notion is proven by the government of Holland. The Netherlands has a "drug population" that hovers between 11% - 13%; the same as the US. In fact, almost every country in the world is in the same range, legal or not.

Another thing that people fear is prostitution. They fear it for two reasons: religious beliefs, and the disease factor. Well, sorry but the the religious people need to stop tell the rest of us what we can and can't do. We all have our moral beliefs and mine don't include telling other people how they should live their lives. As for the disease factor; do you know the only state in the country that doesn't have a huge epidemic of STD's spread by prostitutes? Nevada. The only state where it is legal and regulated. Women come in off the streets and what they are going to do anyway in a safe and clean environment. They are tested regularly and are in an environment that provides safety for their services.

Let's face it, the moral majority is vastly becoming the minority in social issues. In fact, the only reason they are called the "moral majority" is because more of them vote than the rest. I'd venture to wager that at least 60% of this country is more liberal than the people who seem to be so loud. Sadly however, the line between church and state is becoming blurred, abortion is in the forefront of the nation again, and gay people aren't allowed to get married. All of these are items that I though were resolved a long time ago. We need to stand up and tell these people that they don't speak for all of us and we're sick of being pushed around.

But I digress, the point of this is the war on drugs has never and will never work. we keep pouring money into sending pot growers to prison for 25 years while we send rapists to jail for 10 and murderers in for 15. It's time for us to set our priorities straight and stop imprisoning people for crimes against their own bodies. If you want to shove heroine in your arm, or smoke up a crack pipe it's none of my concern... Unless your robbing my house to get it or selling it on my street. Let's fix the problem in a socially relevant way, not declare war on it like we do everything else.

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