The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Return of... He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

After 1987's debocle of a travisty entitled The Masters of the Universe -- starring Dolf Lundgren and (believe it or not) Courtney Cox -- no one thought anyone would be brave enought to try to resurect this homo-erotic children's fare. Enter John Woo!

That's right ladies, gents, and general homo-eroticism enthusiests, John Woo has taken the helm of a new He-Man movie to be release sometime next year.

Starring Jason Lewis as He Man:

.
And Jennifer Garner as She Ra:

It's gotta be better than the original.

posted by Mike | 8:47 AM

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