The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Monday, June 27, 2005

Are Critics EVER Right?

Well sometimes, but not here:

"Displays no trace of imagination, good taste or ingenuity... I say it's a stinkeroo. The vulgarity of which I was all too conscious all through the film is difficult to analyze. Part of it was the raw, eye-straining Technicolor, applied with a complete lack of restraint."

- Russell Maloney's review of "The Wizard Of Oz"
(1939), in the New Yorker Magazine

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"The new Disney cartoon "Bambi" is interesting because it's the first one that's been entirely unpleasant... Mickey wouldn't be caught dead in this."

- Manny Farber,
New Republic Magazine, June, 1942

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"Of Dickens' style it is impossible to speak in praise. It is jerky, ungrammatical, and created by himself in defiance of rules... No young novelist should ever dare to imitate the style of Dickens."

- Writer and critic Anthony Trollope

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"Beethoven's last quartets were written by a deaf man and should only be listened to by a deaf man."

- Sir Thomas Beecham

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"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."

- Decca Recording Company, rejecting The Beatles in 1962.

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"If Mr. Clemens cannot think of anything better to tell our pure-minded lads and lasses, he had better stop writing for them."

- Louisa May Alcott review of Mark Twain's "Huckleberry Finn"

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Siskel & Ebert on ET????

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