The Kackistocrat's Handbook for the Recently Deceased.

My childhood was typical--summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds; pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles . There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking…I suggest you try it -- Dr. Evil

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Location: Richmond, California, United States

Monday, June 20, 2005

A Lesson in Public Relations

A colleague of mine sent me this recently; I don't think you need to be a PR professional to think it's pretty funny:

The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing". Well, here it is:

SUPPOSE:
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed,"
That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed,"
That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed,"
That's Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed,"
That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.

You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and gropes your breast and grabs your ass ...
That's Arnold Schwarzenegger!

You liked it, but 20 years later your attorney decides you were offended.
That's America.

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