Today's Musical Birthday

Darryl "DMC" McDaniels

Run DMC

(1964)

Today's musical Birthday

Benny Goodman

(1909)

Tom Morello

Rage Against the Machine

(1964)

Today's Musical Birthdays (a New Feature)

Joe Cocker (1944)

Busta Rhymes (1972)

Memorial Day Weekend Birthdays:

5/21

Biggie Smalls (1972)

5/22

Morrissey (1959)

5/23

Jewel (1974)

Would Be Funny... If it Wasn't True

Unfortunately, this is a true product with built in GPS; a modern day chastity belt:

protect her privates

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Oh, there's more! I found this testimonial:

david:

When my daughter hit puberty I nearly had a heart attack. She started looking like a woman and suddenly she was wearing revealing clothing and staying out late with her friends.

Rather than become an over-protective parent , I decided to try forget-me-not panties™.

They work wonderfully. My wife and I bought our Sarah several pairs so we can watch her around the clock, and if we see her temperature rising too high, we intervene by calling her cellphone or just picking her up wherever she is. My only comment is it would be great to have a video camera, maybe you can work that into V.2.

Thanks forget-me-not panties™, now we have true peace of mind.

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Is your job Bullshit?

Click the link below, take the test, and find out:

http://www.bullshitjob.com/quiz.html

Anniversary of Brad Nowell's Death

Lying in my plastic bed,

Thinking how things wern’t so cool me,

My baby likes to shoot pool,

I like lying naked in my bedroom,

tying off that dinosaur tonight,

It used to be so cool,

Now I’ve got that needle and I can shake

but I can’t bleed so take it away,

but I want more and more

One day I’m gonna loose the war.

Pool Shark
-Bradly James Nowell

Thanks to Jeremy Bates for the reminder.

A Message for "Master" Bates

This is a personal note for our friend "Master" Bates:

Professor Plum and the Mollusk have found a T shirt that we believe encapsulates your persona. So below is your new life slogan:


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Universe Resonates at a Bb 57 octaves below middle C

Black Hole Strikes Deepest Musical Note Ever Heard

ByRobert Roy Britt
Senior Science Writer
posted: 01:50 pm ET
09 September 2003

Astronomers have detected the deepest note ever generated in the cosmos, a B-flat flying through space like a ripple on an invisible pond. No human will actually hear the note, because it is 57 octaves below the keys in the middle of a piano.
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The detection was made with NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory and announced at a press conference today.

The note strikes an important chord with astronomers, who say it may help them understand how the universe's largest structures, called galaxy clusters, evolve.

The sound waves appear to be heating gas in the Perseus galaxy cluster, some 250 million light-years away, potentially solving a longstanding mystery about why the gas surrounding this cluster and others does not chill out as existing theory predicts.

The gas is apparently dancing excitedly to the eons-long drone of a deep B-flat.

Black hole music
Astronomers were not surprised to find the supermassive black hole making a strong sub-bass sound. Though these greatest known matter sinks are by nature dark and invisible, they create bright and chaotic environments in which many forms of radiation -- from radio waves to visible light to X-rays -- have been recorded. These electromagnetic waves all travel at the speed of light.

Sound waves are similar, but they travel far more slowly and are more physical in nature. Sound you hear, for example, can be produced by the visible compression and expansion of a stereo speaker. The waves physically compress the stuff through which they move, be it air, water, or hot interstellar gas.

Other studies have shown that the riotous activity around black holes -- where gas is accelerated to nearly light-speed -- produces many notes that are, all together, much like music. Collectively, the cosmos produce, scientists believe, a cacophonic symphony of inaudible tunes.
Musical production appears to be ubiquitous in Nature. Scientists often call it flicker noise, and it has also been detected in the X-ray outputs of magnetic fields within our solar system. Even Earth hums its own tune. Musical analogies are found in everything from seascapes to brainwaves.

Way out of range
The 53 hours of Chandra observations revealed a note that is more than a million billion times deeper than what you can hear.

"We have observed the prodigious amounts of light and heat created by black holes," said Andrew Fabian of the Institute of Astronomy in Cambridge, England, and leader of the study. "Now we have detected the sound."

"The Perseus sound waves are much more than just an interesting form of black hole acoustics," said Fabian's colleague Steve Allen. "These sound waves may be the key in figuring out how galaxy clusters … grow."

Scientists had previously observed large amounts of hot gas infusing clusters. Given what's known, the gas should cool over time, however. Cooler gas would create areas of lower pressure near the center of a cluster, causing fringe gas to fall inward. In the process, trillions of stars would form.

This isn't what astronomers see when they look at clusters, though.

The Perseus cluster is the brightest known in X-rays, making it a good target for study. It has two large, bubble-shaped cavities that extend away from a central black hole. The cavities are formed by jets of material ejected from the black hole's surroundings, and the jets have been suspected of heating the outlying gas. But scientists couldn't see how.

A special image-processing technique was used to bring out subtle changes in brightness that revealed the presence of ripples -- the sound waves.

Fabian and Allen figure the sound waves, observed spreading out from the cavities, heat the gas. The amount of energy involved is staggering, equal to what would be produced if 100 million stars exploded.

A single, long-sounding note is produced by a sound wave in which the waves are the same size and shape continuously. The newfound note has been sounding, the researchers say, for about 2.5 billion years.

This article came from here.

Jon Stewart on North Korea...

"Recent satellite photos reveal North Korea has dug and refilled a giant hole -- actions consistent with preparations for an underground nuclear test. Either that or they're marinating the world's largest jar of kimchee."

Band Update: The World's Smallest Venue

This passed weekend we (Soul Broker) played at a little bar in El Cerrito called Cliff's. I had never been to this Bar but Christian and Harlem both claimed to have gotten drunk there many times and assured me "that place is awesome." Upon arrival at this "awesome" bar I walked in and immediately began looking for the back room where us and BRNR would be playing; I never found it. That's because it didn't exist.

This place was about as small as you could imagine. Maybe 30 feet long and 20 feet wide with a bar taking up 1/4 of the space and a pool table taking up about another 20%. Once BRNR brought all their stuff in there was about 15-20% of actual floor space left. This actually worked out well because the 20 people who were there actually filled the place nicely. And to add a bit of insult to injury, the club had no PA (much like our last show) and our equipment didn't have enough power to raise the vocals to a level that could compare to the guitars (again, like our last show).

BRNR began to play at a little after 9 and by the second song they were rockin pretty hard. Those guys have become so tight over the last year or so that they can play well even when they can't hear each other. They rocked for about an hour and by the time they were done the club was about as full as it could get (20 or so people).

We began a little after 10 and played our set as best as we could. Our guitars were too loud and the vocals too low but at least we were all in time, for the most part there were no mistakes and everyone was "on". At around 9:45 I noticed a cop standing at the front door and thought we were about to be shut down but after a few minutes of head bobbing he asked us to keep the door closed and he left. Who knows, we might have a new fan after that.

Other than a space and sound issue, the show went much better than anticipated. We all had a great time and have decided to play a bunch more shows with BRNR in the coming months. At least this show was a rebound from our declining performances.

Re-donk-yo-lous

What the hell happened to Phil Spector?

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RIP Tony the Tiger

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Thurl Ravenscroft dead at 91

FULLERTON, California (AP) --
Thurl Ravenscroft, who provided the rumbling "They're Grrrrreeeat!" for Kellogg's Tony the Tiger ads and voiced a host of Disney characters, has died. He was 91.

Ravenscroft died Sunday of prostate cancer, said Diane Challis Davy, director of Laguna Beach's Pageant of the Masters.

For more than 50 years, Ravenscroft was the affable voice behind Tony the Tiger, TV's popular cartoon pitchman for Kellogg's Frosted Flakes.

"I'm the only man in the world that has made a career with one word: Grrrrreeeat!" Ravenscroft told the Orange County Register in 1996. "When Kellogg's brought up the idea of the tiger, they sent me a caricature of Tony to see if I could create something for them. After messing around for some time I came up with the `Grrrrreeeat!' roar, and that's how it's been since then."

He also narrated the summertime Pageant of the Masters at Laguna Beach for 20 years and lent his voice to characters on thrill rides at Disneyland, including the Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, the Enchanted Tiki Room and the Haunted Mansion.

"Disneyland wouldn't have been, and wouldn't be, the same without him," the park's former president, Jack Lindquist, told the Register. "His voice was one of the things that made it all come alive."

Ravenscroft also did voices for the animated films "Cinderella," "The Jungle Book," "Mary Poppins," "Alice in Wonderland," "Lady and the Tramp" and many others.

Born in Norfolk, Nebraska, Ravenscroft moved to California in 1933 to study art. By the mid-1930s he was appearing regularly on radio, and by the late-1930s he was singing backup for Bing Crosby.

After military service during World War II, he returned to Hollywood, where he sang with the Mellomen, a group that performed with Frank Sinatra, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Elvis Presley.

In 1952, Ravenscroft's voice appeared in the first Frosted Flakes commercial.

Ravenscroft is survived by two children and four grandchildren. June, his wife of 53 years, died in 1999 at age 80.

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Find this article here.

My new pet. Isn't she cute...

I'll name her Zoe.

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Dave Chappelle: "I'm Not on Crack!!!"

Chappelle's 'stress' is a stretch
By Renée Graham, Globe Staff May 17, 2005

Now that Dave Chappelle has officially declared himself ''not crazy" and ''not smoking crack," he needs to end his extended sabbatical and finish the third season of ''Chappelle's Show."

After weeks of speculation about what made the comedian bolt from his hit Comedy Central show -- and postpone its May 31 return -- Chappelle told Time magazine that he's been on a ''spiritual retreat" in South Africa, and has not, despite reports to the contrary, checked into a mental hospital there. He claims he went AWOL from the program he created in mid-production last month because he ''didn't like the direction of the show."

More to the point, Chappelle said he's ''definitely stressed out," and feeling the pressure of co-writing and performing his irreverent sketch-comedy show after signing a $50 million deal with the network.

So the 31-year-old comic up and left, without so much as a call to Comedy Central chief Doug Herzog, leaving in his wake lots of questions and rumors that he'd lost his mind in a blur of sudden, overwhelming fame or a haze of drugs and unchecked partying.

Without question, Chappelle is one of the funniest guys around. Little attention was paid when his show premiered in 2003, but once the first season was released on DVD, the half-hour show featuring bawdy, provocative skits about race, politics, and sex became a certified hit. To everyone's surprise, that set became one of the top-selling TV shows released on DVD.

That brought bigger audiences to the second season of ''Chappelle's Show," and the kind of attention that turned the once-unknown comic into a pop culture icon, and lines from his shows into oft-imitated catchphrases. (As profane as he is funny, two of Chappelle's best bits involving the late singer Rick James and entertainer Wayne Brady can't be repeated in this newspaper.)
Now, Chappelle is as heavy a hitter on Comedy Central as Jon Stewart on ''The Daily Show" and Cartman on ''South Park," but he's feeling too put upon to continue, at least for the moment.

Well, you know what, Dave -- you weren't feeling too stressed to sign that reported $50 million deal, even though you say it took you months to decide. If nothing else, that gives him 50 million very good reasons to return to work.

Another is, of course, Chappelle's considerable talents. No other show on TV offers a more pointed take on a variety of tricky topics, especially race. Along with co-writer Neal Brennan, Chappelle introduced such characters as a blind white supremacist who doesn't know he's black; a game show called ''I Know Black People," with questions pertaining to the ''Good Times" theme and hip-hop lyrics; a spoof of MTV's ''The Real World" with a crazy all-black cast, save for one incessantly abused and perplexed white guy; and a ''race draft" in which various races claim racially ambiguous celebrities such as Tiger Woods.

It was all remarkably assured and fearless, and some of the skits were so audacious they could leave viewers in slack-jawed awe. More often than not, each show was incredibly funny, as Chappelle highlighted through humor the absurdities of racism.

When his audience will see new episodes of ''Chappelle's Show" remains unanswered. (The complete second season DVD is due in stores May 24. ) According to Time, Herzog told Comedy Central staffers not to expect the third season in 2005, and Chappelle didn't sound any more optimistic.

If mo' money has led Chappelle to mo' problems, perhaps he should pull out of his multimillion-dollar deal. He could always return to making lousy movies such as ''Half Baked" and ''Undercover Brother." Whatever the case, Chappelle needs to get it together and get back to work.

You know what stress is, Dave? Stress is a single parent of three trying to support a family on minimum wage. Stress is an employee whose pension is about to be slashed by her company. Stress is a kid two years out of high school wondering if he or she will make it to their 21st birthday before being blown to bits by a roadside bomb in Iraq. Stress isn't making a half-hour comedy show and, when all is said and done, pocketing $50 million.

Renée Graham's Life in the Pop Lane column appears on Tuesdays. She can be reached at graham@globe.com
This Article came from the Boston Globe.

Most Offensive T-Shirts Ever

http://www.tshirthell.com/wth.htm

Here's and Example:

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What the fuck is a Celebutante?

OK, in all honesty, we all know what a "celebutante" is. And for those of you who don't, allow me to enlighten you. A "celebutante" is a collaboration of the words celebrity and debutante, this much you know. But the true meaning of this word has come to mean people who are famous for being, well, famous. The most notorious example of this subspecies in the modern era is Heiress Paris Hilton.

I still haven't quite gotten the American attraction this piece of trash. So here's this girl who is a multimillionaire without ever having to work a day in her life; I guess that's attractive. Now, let's see... What else? OK, she's quite dumb, stubborn, conceded & arrogant, bitchy, self-serving, and, in my opinion, unattractive. Let's face it, she's got a body like a 13 year old boy and an attitude to match. She can't act and has nothing to offer society, so where's the attraction?

I saw Carl Bernstein (who broke the Watergate scandal in the 60's) give a speech a few weeks back. In his address he gave a great example of what is wrong with the media; what he called the Idiot Culture. Back in the mid 1980's he picked up the New York Post and saw a front page article about Donald Trump getting in trouble with his wife (at the time) Ivanna over his mistress Marla Maples. Now, ordinarily this wouldn't be that big of a day except for this:
That same day the allies decided to unify Germany and Nelson Mandela spent his first day back in the country he was exiled from twenty-five years earlier. The point is, the media is more concerned over what sells news as opposed to what is news.

Some would say that this is what the people want, so this is what they should get. To them I say go home, turn on Jerry Springer, and stay the hell away from elections, ballots, and anything else that has an effect on the way this country is run.

I turned on MSNBC sporadically over the last two weeks and I saw three stories: One was about two missing little white girls, one was about a white woman who let her husband to pretend that she was kidnapped by a couple of minorities, and the third... Michael fucking Jackson. Are we not still at war in Iraq? Are soldiers not still fucking dying in Afghanistan? Is North Korea not enriching Uranium anymore? What the fuck?

The thing is, I'm not against celebrity news, we all need a break from reality to find out that Tom Cruise is now with Katie Holms or that Cameron Diaz was kissing the producer of her new show while her hubby Justin Timberlake is in the hospital for nodules on his vocal chords. But why is Michael Jackson getting who hours of news devoted to his trial? Why do we need to see hours of Paris, and Nicole, and Cameron, and Tom, and Lindsey, and Brittany, and Alvin, and Simon, and Theodore?

Listen, the point of this is that we all need a break from the horrors of the world. But when you turn on a 24 hour news channel and it's 22 hours of Michael Jackson you gotta wonder? We live in an idiot culture that feeds on sound bites and quick clips; pictures of pop stars and who their fucking this week. We all know that ignorance is bliss, but as long as we continue to allow the powers that be to spoon-feed us this fantasy, the truth will always be theirs to hide and ours to never know.

Random Rants: What the World Needs to Know

-The Atkins diet is bullshit. Sure, you'll be skinny when you die of a massive heart attack at 35.

-A dog is a living, breathing animal not a fashion accessory.

-The blinker on your car is not a courtesy device, it's a safety device.

-A rear view mirror is not supposed to be used for applying makeup, shaving, or plucking any sort of facial or nasal hair.

-Animals should NEVER wear clothing.

-Midgets are always funny; even when they're really angry.

-Cropping a dog's ears or tail is only appropriate if you're going to do it to yourself as well... Jackass

-Driving a BMW or Lexus does not give you the right to park in 3 spots or on the sidewalk.

-If you don't know what cell phone etiquette is, hang the fuck up!

-Everyone likes music. That doesn't mean that I want to hear yours from 200 yards away asshole.

-If a sheep is also known as a ram, and a mule is also an ass, then how come a ram in the ass is a goose?

-If a woman let's you buy her a drink, that doesn't mean she owes you a sexual favor. However, if she buys you a drink, you'd better put out.

-There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance.

-The biggest threat to world peace is ignorance.

-God does not hate fags, niggers, kikes, or spics! God only hate the assholes that use those words.

-There is nothing redeeming about reality television.

-If you admire a criminal like Martha Stewart you need to reexamine your values.

-Emeril Lagasse is a television personality, not a chef.

-The only thing worse than fake titties are the fake women who wear them.

-There is NOTHING nutritious on a fast food restaurant's menu.

-If you can't walk and chew gum at the same time why are you driving while talking on your cell phone?

-No matter what he says, he is NEVER going to leave his wife for you.

-Techno and trance music is only appropriate if everybody in the room is on Ecstasy.

-Patchouli is not a substitute for showering. On that note, neither is any other perfume or cologne.

-A man with a "C" average in college is never a man to admire intellectually; even if he is President.

-Sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours a day in not a rewarding career... No matter how much you're paid!

Stupid Joke of the Day:

Q:

You know what you call a midget Psychic who's on the run from the law?

A:

A small Medium at Large.

Why Religion Inhibits Spirituality

I was watching TV the other day and came across a mini-series called Revelations. This (I believe) 4 part movie chronicles the end of days as predicted by the Bible. Religion has been at the forefront of debate more now that it seems to have been in the last decade. Not that this is a surprising notion, Republicans always push religious issues because religion controls people through fear, just like Republicans do.

I should however, clarify my stance on this issue. I believe that spirituality is not only valid, but an essential part of humanity. However let's face it, all religion does is inhibit this spirituality that we all need. Religion takes a good idea and attempts to profit on it in one way or another. Religion teaches exclusionism and isolation. Religion teaches fear of god. And religion trys to control the way you think. Who's idea was it that we had to fear god? Why is it that every religion believes that they are the only one that's right; that only their people will enter the utopian afterlife?

If it wasn't for religion we wouldn't have excuses to hate homosexuals, or Jews, or Muslims. We wouldn't have had the Crusades, the Inquisition, or a thousand other bloody massacres. We wouldn't have thousands of years of unrest in the Middle East, suicide bombers, or zealots. People kill everyday in the name of their god; they justify unwarranted attacks on other countries or innocent people because they can find some passage in their holy book that they translate to be some kind of murderous permission.

Religion teaches arrogance, fear, hatred, sadness, guilt, and oppression. The Bible was NEVER meant to be taken literally and the people who do destroy the massage; and with that, they destroy god. Don't get me wrong, the Bible is an amazing book that teaches invaluable morals. However, the Bible is a book full of similies and metaphors; that's it!

During the 1700's there were two men known as The Brothers Grimm. These two men compiled many books of oral folklore passed on from generation to generation throughout Europe. These stories would eventually be well known in our society via Disney. Stories such as The Three Bears, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella are among some of the more gruesome tales written in this early text that Disney altered to fit a more sensitive modern culture.

The idea was not that a fox dressed in old-lady clothes really sexually desired a young girl, but that an old man would try to fool a young girl by disguising himself as a friend. The fox was a METAPHOR representing a predatory older man, possibly a child molester. Do you see where I am going with this? The intention of the Bible was the same; teach people a lesson through folklore and representation.

The main problem that I really have with religion is the exclusionary ideal. How is it that there can be hundreds of world religions but only one can be right? I mean what is the difference between Baptist, and Penicostal, and Lutheran, and Protestant, and Catholic, and 7th Day Adventist for that matter? How about Mormon and Jehovah's Witnesses? Aren't they all Christians of one form or another? How about Branch Dividians? When do they cross the line from Christian to Cult? In reality "Christians" were still called Jews 600 years after Christ died until they decided that Jews weren't Christ-following enough. Then, guess what? They became a cult of Judaism called Christians.

How about Jews and Muslims? Do you think the average person in America can tell the difference between and Israeli and a Kuwaiti? I doubt it. In truth, Jews and Muslims aren't that different from each other. Neither eat pork or shell fish, Abraham is much like Mohammed, and both believe the "Messiah" is on his way to save them all. Yet they have been at war for 5000 years over one chunk of land that they both believe is their holiest place... they could almost be the same religion.

I am a universalist. I believe that, if there is a god, he loves and respects everyone equally. I don't think that what you believe in is important, it's just important that you believe. Believe in humanity,believe in right & wrong, believe in something bigger than yourself, believe in ideas. As Chris Rock said in Dogma: "I just think it's better to have ideas (than beliefs). You can change ideas, but beliefs -- that's a lot trickier."

I don't believe in a god that's angry or vengeful. I don't believe in a god that hates "fags, niggers, spics, kikes, chinks, japs, or bitches" or anything else that you might hate. C'mon, wake up people. Stop using your deity as an excuse for your ignorance. God does not want you to bomb an abortion clinic, lynch a black person, or persecute a minority.

And while we're at it. Why do boxers cross their chest before they step into the ring? Are athletes that narcissistic that they believe god actually wants them to beat the crap out of the other guy? Do they really believe that god cares if they hit a homerun or score a touchdown? I mean, if god has time to think about the performance of childish, arrogant, and overpaid athletes as opposed to starving children, disease, and intolerance then I think he need to reevaluate his priorities.

Odd News: SF Whore College

'Whore College' Offers Hands-On Training

SAN FRANCISCO - It's higher education of the horizontal variety. About 25 sex workers went to a college of sorts, sitting through lectures on effective marketing, stress reduction and condom-application skills.

"We are still illegal," instructor Kimberlee Cline said before her 20-minute demonstration. "If we want to be treated as business professionals, we need to act ethically within the industry."
Other cities, including Tucson, Ariz., Portland, Ore., Montreal and Taipei, Taiwan, have similar events, said organizer Carol Leigh.

Presented in conjunction with the San Francisco Sex Worker Film and Arts Festival, the class Wednesday at an erotic art gallery was billed as a way for working girls and guys to polish their skills in a supportive atmosphere.

It was the first time the biennial festival, begun in 1999 to showcase films about and by sex workers, included a session devoted to how to maintain a satisfying career.

"My own personal experience has been negative and positive, as with any job," said Kymberly Cutter, 36, a mother of two from Tucson who returned to prostitution two years ago to boost her income and regards it as part of a journey in "personal self-discovery." Her children, ages 7 and 9, know what she does for a living, she said.

Participants who stuck it out for the whole day received diplomas certifying them as G.S.W — graduates in sex work.

This story came from Yahoo! News.

Band Update: 3rd show and name change...

This past Saturday night was my band's 3rd show; this time in Novato. Novato is a small town in Marin County that is basically a well-to-do suburb. Mostly rich kids, a lot of homogeny, not much to do, and rarely any live music. We were playing at a small bar called Brown's Binyard on the corner of Grant and 1st street. Also on the bill were openers Da Unknowns and closers (local favorites) Potential Treat. I knew something was amiss when, upon arrival, I was asked if I brought my mic.

The idea of the show in advance was almost as bad as the show itself. I wasn't really into it because, at the time, we thought we were going all the way out there to play for free. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not above playing for free. But this show was a long drive from home, we had to scrounge up enough vehicles to lug all of our gear, gas is expensive, and so are bridge tolls. Now, as I said I am not above playing for free, but this would be a financial loss for the band to do it. Furthermore, I think it's lame to charge people a cover and then tell the band they might not be getting paid.

However, I'm a man of my word and I think that backing out of a show at the last minute might be the worste possible thing to do; it almost seems worse than having a really bad show... but don't worry, we did.

We had every problem imaginable: Our Bassist was MIA until 10 minutes before we were supposed to go on, our drummer was slobbering drunk, the venue had no sound equipment of it's own and most of us didn't want to be there. But as usual, I got psyced as the time to play got closer and figured that we came all this way, we might as well play our hearts out.

I will say one great thing about Novato, the people there love their live music; good or bad. We had an amazing responce for the caliber of music that we played. Althought Monty and Keith bot played great guitar, neither of them could hear each other. Not that it mattered since our drummer decided he didn't need to play about 20% of the beats he was supposed to play. Both Hrlem and I were in the middle listening to the aweful rawkus that was eminating from our respective rigs (that we can mostly attribute to the lack of moniters). Sadly though, nothing tears apart the fluidity of a band quicker than a fucked up drummer.

I was poised to announce our new name "Soul Broker" at this show, but decided that it would probably be a bad idea since we sucked so bad. This way, when we come back people will think we are a different band. Surprisingly though, people loved us. A guy named Ken approached me after the show and told me that he booked for a club a few blocks away called Desilva's. he said he loved us and wants to put on a Metal show at his bar. Then he offered me a drink if we came by after our gig to check out his bar.

When we arrived at Desilva's it was a much different vibe. A big room, raised stage, professional sound; this place was really nice. He told me that he was booking shows for late June and that he wanted us there. I told him that I could book two other bands and he seemed excited. After a couple of beers Lisa and I left.

For the following passage has been removed to protect the guilty.

*****************************************************************
*****************************************************************


After that it gets a bit foggy. Needless to say, both Drummer & Guitarist got home OK... eventually. One at 5am and the other sometime in the late morning. Another show down, we ended up being paid really well for a mediocre performance, and 3/5 of us made it home safely. Another day in the trials and tribulations of a rock and roll lifestlye.

...And from the "Are You Fucking Serious" File:

What the fuck is wrong wioth people?


http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com

Who says the Food Network isn't Sexy?

Yes, these are from a real spread in FHM. Damn, Rachel Ray is hot!!!

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Why Drugs Should be Legal... Prostitution Too.

Before I get into my rant on why drugs should be legal I feel that I need to post this disclaimer:

*Although I have the belief that most (if not all) drugs should be legal, I in no way condone the use of hard narcotics for recreational purposes. I in no way encourage experimentation nor look down upon those who do. These views are solely my own and don't necessarily reflect those of this publication, its management, or editorial board.

I was listening to NPR this morning (as I always do) while Michael Krasne's Talk of the Nation was discussing a brand of certain pharmaceuticals used in the making of meth amphetamines. The interview began with a brief interview with a security guard at a Wal-Mart in Kansas. This guard took a reporter to the cold medicine isle where he pointed to an empty display of a product that is very similar to Sudafed. The active ingredient is such cold medicine is a stimulant called Ephedrine; a key element in the making of street meth. In the discussion the guard said that the store was in the process of putting "all of these medicines behind the counter."

This is a debate that I have heard many times: put the stuff behind the counter to stop the theft of it (as well as the legitimate purchases that are still going to make meth) but, by doing so you're making the "regular" customers experience just a little tougher. What-to-do what-to-do?

So many "authorities" are taking the wrong approach to the drug problem in this country. The first thing that they need to realize is that you will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER get people to stop doing drugs; never! People have been taking mind altering substances since the beginning of time. Furthermore, since we're on the subject of what man has been doing since the beginning of time, what is the worlds oldest profession? Prostitution! But I'll get into that later.

Back to the drugs.

Where was I? Oh yeah, people will always do drugs. I mean, go to Iran where you can get shot on the street for possession of hashish. Guess what, if you look hard enough, you'll find hashish. The key to "saving" society lies with legalization for four very important reasons.

Reason 1: Human Nature
See the blue paragraph above.

Reason 2: Black Market
Since (some) people will always look for drugs no matter the consequence there will always be people willing to see it to them. Honestly, a lot of people have their regular dealers that they go to every week that is "safe" and familiar. However, some people just need to go out and get a fix. This means that they are out on the street, late at night, looking to score. Let's say they find someone selling what their looking for and head into the shadows to make the deal. Now you have two people hiding in a dark place for a drug deal. These are two lives at risk from each other. If this guy could go to Walgreens or CVS to pick up his weekly dose (assuming that legalization would not be similar to alcohol or tobacco) you just possibly saved two lives; that of the dealer and that of the addict.

Lets say, you think the dealer is more of a piece of shit and don't care for his life to be saved. Well, guess what; by selling the drugs in a pharmacy you've just put him out of business.

Reason 3: Crime
Most crime related to drugs derives from the black market and is only committed by those who are in desperate need of the really addictive drugs (i.e. meth, heroin, and crack). Along with legalization comes regulation. It is imperative that assistance be given to those who need it in the form of methadone or similar treatments that aid people in the acquisition and treatment of their chose addiction. Now, I'm not saying that giving free meth or crack to an addict off the street is a good idea, unless it's accompanied by treatment. Here's how: If you offer an addict a prescription for say heroin as long as they attend some sort of medical treatment plan, they will take it; trust me. If an addict knows that they can acquire their drug of choice legally, regularly, and conveniently, they will.

Reason 4: Quality
Many studies have been done showing that regulated heroine does not make your lifespan any shorter. However people overdose and kill themselves on heroin all the time. Why? Because there is no consistency. Every dose of street heroin is different from the last--some more potent, some less. This forces the user to make his own decision as to the dose he needs or wants. By regulation of the industry people will know what the proper dose is and will drastically reduce the amount of deaths from overdose.

Most people fear the idea of narcotic legalization because they believe it will give a green light to those who want to do drugs but don't. The truth is sure, there will be an initial spike in usage, but that will die off and level out within a year. The people who are going to do drugs are already prone to do it. You're not gonna have a Mormon youth group in Salt Lake City say "hey, it's legal now, let's go get fucked up." This notion is proven by the government of Holland. The Netherlands has a "drug population" that hovers between 11% - 13%; the same as the US. In fact, almost every country in the world is in the same range, legal or not.

Another thing that people fear is prostitution. They fear it for two reasons: religious beliefs, and the disease factor. Well, sorry but the the religious people need to stop tell the rest of us what we can and can't do. We all have our moral beliefs and mine don't include telling other people how they should live their lives. As for the disease factor; do you know the only state in the country that doesn't have a huge epidemic of STD's spread by prostitutes? Nevada. The only state where it is legal and regulated. Women come in off the streets and what they are going to do anyway in a safe and clean environment. They are tested regularly and are in an environment that provides safety for their services.

Let's face it, the moral majority is vastly becoming the minority in social issues. In fact, the only reason they are called the "moral majority" is because more of them vote than the rest. I'd venture to wager that at least 60% of this country is more liberal than the people who seem to be so loud. Sadly however, the line between church and state is becoming blurred, abortion is in the forefront of the nation again, and gay people aren't allowed to get married. All of these are items that I though were resolved a long time ago. We need to stand up and tell these people that they don't speak for all of us and we're sick of being pushed around.

But I digress, the point of this is the war on drugs has never and will never work. we keep pouring money into sending pot growers to prison for 25 years while we send rapists to jail for 10 and murderers in for 15. It's time for us to set our priorities straight and stop imprisoning people for crimes against their own bodies. If you want to shove heroine in your arm, or smoke up a crack pipe it's none of my concern... Unless your robbing my house to get it or selling it on my street. Let's fix the problem in a socially relevant way, not declare war on it like we do everything else.

Movie Review: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

OK, if you haven't seen this movie yet: What the FK is wrong with you? This epic adaptation of Douglas Adams 5 book trilogy (that's right, I said 5 book trilogy) begins, as the book does, with unsuspecting commoner Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman - best know for his role in the British version of The Office) in his bathrobe and jammies about 20 minutes before the end of the World. Luckily, unbeknownst to him, his best friend Ford Prefect (Mos Def) is actually an alien who is hip to the pending Planetary annihilation. Prefect, well versed in the ways of galactic hitchhiking, solicits them both a ride off the planet just in the nick of time.

This movie is full of surprising performances by relatively unknown or (thought to be) unqualified actors. The surprise of the movie to me was Mos Def who played the character of Ford perfectly. Furthermore, Freeman's Arthur Dent and Zooey Deschanel's "Trillion" were so spectacularly bland that you couldn't help but love them. The other two break-out performances for me were Sam Rockwell's "Zaphod Beeblebrox" and Alan Rickman as the self loathing robot Marvin.

Garth Jennings took great risks in the direction of this movie that paid off beyond anything I could have imagined. Early on, Jennings decided to keep the CGI to a minimum and utilize as many "classic" special effects and camera tricks as he could. Seeing this movie made me realize everything that's wrong with the new Star Wars that was right with the old Star Wars. Using everything from men in creature costumes, puppets, and even claymation this movie is campy yet classic. CGI was applied when appropriate, but by no means over used.

PLEASE go see this movie, you will laugh your ass off... I promise!

I give this movie a rating of 4 blue percent signs, a red asterisk, and 3 green exclamation points:

% % % % * ! ! !

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Canada OKs Cannabis Oral Spray

Unique painkiller for multiple sclerosis unlikely to win U.S. approval.
April 30, 2005: 7:27 PM EDT
By Aaron Smith, CNN/Money staff writer

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) -
A cannabis-based painkiller for sufferers of multiple sclerosis is expected to be in Canadian pharmacies this summer, but whether it appears on U.S. pharmacy shelves is a key question.

Sativex, which is sprayed into patients' mouths, is produced by the British firm GW Pharmaceuticals. It was approved by the Canadian government on April 19.

"A great number of multiple sclerosis sufferers have experimented, sometimes illegally, with herbal marijuana in the past," said Mark Rogerson, spokesman for GW Pharmaceuticals, whose scientists extract cannabis from greenhouse-cultivated plants. "We are confident that many patients will prefer a pharmaceutical or a scientific solution to the problem rather than crude herbal marijuana."

The manufacturer has partnered with Bayer, the German drug giant, to get Sativex to the Canadian market as quickly as possible. Bayer (up $0.98 to $32.25, Research) also has a contract to market the drug in the United Kingdom, where it is awaiting approval by British authorities.

"Also this year, we are beginning the process of seeking approval for a medicine in the U.S.," says Rogerson. "We are in the early stages of talking to the U.S. administration."

Rogerson said his company would also be seeking approval in continental Europe. "If you get your approval in one EU country then you hit the ground running in other EU countries," said Rogerson.

In the United States, there are 400,000 people diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, compared to 50,000 in Canada and about 85,000 in Britain. Roughly half of these people suffer neuropathic pain that could be treated by Sativex, according to the companies.

'This is a very important opportunity for us," said Doug Grant, spokesman for Bayer Canada who declined to provide sales estimates. "There are very few opportunities where you can provide a drug where there is no other treatment available. There's no specific drug on the market for treating neuropathic pain for multiple sclerosis."

The first legal hurdle was cleared in 2001, when Canadian regulators approved medicinal marijuana for patients with multiple sclerosis, spinal injuries, AIDS, cancer and any terminal illness with a prognosis of less than 12 months to live.

But if the past is any indication, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration might go tough on a cannabis-based drug.

"Generally, physicians do not like to use narcotic-based drugs or drugs that have addictive-type characteristics for treatment of chronic pain," said Dr. John Richert, vice president for research and clinical programs for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

"There is not yet solid scientific evidence that the cannabis-related drugs are useful for multiple sclerosis pain," he said. "I think if there were solid scientific evidence that this type of drug helped, then that would be the evidence for the FDA to consider in their evaluation for the drug."

More than 10 states in the U.S. have approved legislation supporting the use of medicinal marijuana. But the federal government supersedes all state legislation and the FDA lists marijuana as an illegal narcotic.

GW Pharmaceuticals hopes the FDA will see Sativex differently from its recreational cousin. In addition to multiple sclerosis, Rogerson said, the painkiller is also being tested to treat rheumatoid arthritis, spasticity, spinal injuries and bladder dysfunction.

And unlike the herbal version of marijuana, Rogerson said Sativex is sprayed into the mouth in a liquid form and poses no threat to the lungs.

"Smoking is bad for you," said Rogerson. "You don't have to take my word for that. Just look a package of cigarettes and see what it says. We don't regard smoking as an acceptable method of delivery for a medicine."

Sativex differs from Marinol, an FDA-approved drug containing the active ingredient found in marijuana, because Sativex is extracted from a plant while Marinol is synthetic. Marinol is taken as a pill to fight appetite loss by patients with HIV or cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy.

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